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Saturday, December 5, 2009

Letting go....

Ok, where do I start? The last time I blogged was the day of the competition and I was waiting on the results. Well, lets just say I didn't do so well! But thats ok, there was some tough competition there. The competing season is over for now and I feel like this year I was just getting my feet wet. I had a blast competing and met some awesome girls. I look back on the competition pictures from this year and it is hard to believe I actually did it. I loved every second of it and can't wait for next year.
As far as life in general, I have taken a step back and just letting God be in control. Isn't it funny how you wake up one day and find yourself calling the shots, controling everything and making every minute of the day about you and your wants and desires? I have learned many lessons this year, both good and bad, and I am ready to let go. I am ready to sit back and let God be in control. He has been faithful to me this year and I am so gracious for his love and patience for me. I know I have put Him on the back burner for way too long. It is very easy for me to want to take all matters in my own hands and not just let God be in every situation. Something I have discovered this year about myself, is that it is very tiring to try to do it all yourself!!!
This year has been bittersweet for me. I have had an awesome year in training anf being in the best shape of my life. I have felt more confident in myself than ever before. However, it has been a year to do much self-evaluation and learn some really tough lessons. Ultimately, the lesson of just letting go and let God be in the driver seat is the biggest and the toughest battle I have had this year. That is not a very easy task for me to do. Well, it used to not be easy, I am more than happy to let go today. Isn't it funny how God molds your heart and mind to what He wants for you.